Spreading Myself Thin

Oh dear, what is this feeling? If you’re like me—have ever attempted to conquer the world in one night (metaphorically speaking, of course)—you are likely spreading yourself thin. I cannot bear to see anyone suffer in the same way as me, so this article serves as a warning to those who are just a bit too ambitious.

I have tried many duties and chased after countless ideas. However, these efforts don’t often go very far, except for in my mind’s fantasies. I would think, “hey, maybe I could make this game,” or “hey, I have a leg up in painting,” only to utterly disappoint myself with my lack of preparation and willingness to succeed. The immediate high of possibility seems to fade just as rapidly as it comes.

I see grand events in my horizon, but when I see the hard work required and compare it to all the other purposes I want to fulfill, I am left with disappointment, longing, and stress.

I think about all the people I meet, how I can be friends with almost everyone, and I imagine a world where I am in their lives. In this daydream, I become a mere passerby among large groups.

In my idealized world, where everything is complete, and everyone is happy, I would be content. But life has shown me that isn’t possible; I don’t even get enough sleep.

So, what do I do?

I need to make progress. Running away from my decisions has only haunted me further into the self-made prison of my room. I have to commit to a single cause for the time being and stick with it until I see movement. It’s easy to want myself to master the piano, but comparing myself, self-taught, to the prodigy around the corner, who’s been playing since five, does not help me work things out.

I must remember that nothing has to go my way, but I can still try in the face of that fact. I may be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but at least I understand how to improve, or move away from said time and place. I don’t have to be liked by everyone, but my friendliness can still go a long way. If I can see the opportunity in my failure, I will continue to chase after the next path.

As for a conclusion, just stick to what you have, and don’t let other opportunities bother you unless you really know you want to tackle them. Don’t get lost in so much life that it reduces you to nothing. Put yourself out there, but don’t lose yourself along the way. In that, you can do something you want. Baby steps. Get to it!