Hello there, I was going to write a continuation of the Biblical Kings or Common Sense by Thomas Paine, but I realize that my joy for writing those sorts of articles have been fading away as of late: so reader, I will write this article for fun and promise something similar, in-line with what I have already produced, starting next week.
Reader, I find it strange that I can hardly bear to read anything that I write. It was fine when I just had to write articles for this club or for my classes, those were simply for fun, but colleges, of course, require essays if you want any chance at entering them. I think this fact stems from my own conception that my works are overly pretentious or vague, for no reason. Ever since I was younger, I enjoyed reading earlier texts like the Bible or various sagas of medieval literature, so I tried to adopt their style of writing. Of course, I am nowhere near the skill or age of those masters, so my work comes out as a mere imitation of some philosopher who spent years perfecting his craft of penmanship and rhetoric. I really do have a passion for writing however, I enjoy writing this very article. The problem is that as soon as I finish my own work it’s very hard for me to review it without cringing, it’s probably a psychological problem. It was a meaningless problem as my writing skills, without review, were sufficient enough for classes or hobbies, but AP Research destroyed any confidence I had in my writing. I dedicated one day solely to writing my research paper and as soon as I had finished typing at around 3 AM, I hardly looked at it again. I suppose I automatically assumed that I couldn’t write a real academic or scholarly work.
I had people review my AP Research paper, thank you sincerely to everyone who did, but I was a great fool. Out of embarrassment, or something I can’t put my finger on, I hardly skimmed through the criticisms, and submitted by paper when I could. The work I did in that class was by no means extraordinary, but I was proud of what I had accomplished. However, I ended up getting a 3 on the exam, the only 3 I have received in my high school career, because of my own doing.
Now I’m working on college applications, and I am truly getting better at being able to read my own work. I don’t want a repeat of AP Research. However, my inability to effectively read my work and loss of motivation over summer break caused me to barely make any progress at all with college applications.
So let this be a lesson to you all, don’t let your personal opinions or emotions sway you from what you have to do. If you have to do something, do it. It doesn’t matter how embarrassed you feel or how timid you are. Don’t delay anything. I know many people, including myself, who dislike checking their own grades or due dates out of fear. I understand that, however, delaying it may cause you to miss a time-window where you can actually do something about a terrible grade, in case you have one.
If you’re a senior like me, let’s finish strong, let’s not let senioritis hinder our goals or motivations. If you’re an underclassmen, you’ve got some time left, but don’t let that distract you from your main goals. Hero and Eidan, if you’re reading this, thank you for always helping me with editing and reviewing articles, you guys are the true leaders of this club.
(Editor's Note [Hero]: Thank you Mr. President Yechan Kim! It's no problem!)